Category Archives: Halloween

The Lion, the Witch, and the Very Short Wardrobe

It’s that time of year again, and I am so excited! Hoodies, s’mores, bonfires, beautiful leaves, and turning on the electric blanket at night. (Oh, wait, I do that almost all year anyway.) Halloween is swiftly approaching, and it has always been one of my favorite holidays. Originally I’m sure this was because it is so close to my birthday, but as an adult I love it without the birthday strings attached.
I might be “all grown up”, but I still like to dress up for Halloween. In recent years I have been a black cat, a gangster, and a maiden. I spent a decent amount of time last week pilfering the Halloween stores for The Perfect Costume. I don’t want to be just whatever random garb I can grab off the shelf. I want to be something that means something to me. Something that I am all about. Something that would make people say, “That is so Ashley.” But most of all? I want something that doesn’t show my ass.
It doesn’t sound like a lot to ask, I know. But have you looked at the “women’s” costumes over the last few years? If you haven’t, go look. I’ll wait.
See? The vast majority of these costumes are of the naughty nurse or vixen pirate types. Even worse is that they are taking characters from Disney and Sesame Street and trying to make them sexy. You want to be a princess this year? Sure, but you gotta squeeze into a mini skirt first. Even costumes that are in little girls’ sizes are far too revealing.
I escaped the Halloween store last Wednesday night with tears in my eyes (because a 30-year-old that’s had two kids does not a bimbo Batgirl make) and ideas churning in my head. It was time to take matters, and hot glue, into my own hands and make a costume. But what? After much debate I finally decided. The one material thing I truly love. The one outfit that nobody else is going to have for Halloween. The Perfect Costume.
If you are prowling around the Southern Illinois area on Thursday and you happen to see a woman with shredded book pages glued to her shirt, a witch hat, a lion nose, and a necklace made of doorknobs, don’t fret. It’s just me, dressed as one of my favorite books: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

 

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Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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