Monthly Archives: January 2014

Super Bowl Contest!

Head on over to my Facebook page to enter my Super Bowl contest!  You could get a free copy of The Graveside Detective!!

Also, please feel free to share/reblog this post or my Facebook post to help get the word out!

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Born to be a Broncos Fan

I love the Denver Broncos. People have only two reactions to that: “Ew, why?”, or “Oh, you like Manning.”

Grrr.

Yes, I do like Manning, and I’m thrilled that we are in the Super Bowl in large part because of him, but that has nothing to do with why I like the team.

I’m originally from the Denver area, and I can’t remember ever not knowing who the Broncos were.  There’s a John Elway jersey hanging in my closet. I sat in Mile High Stadium before it was Sports Authority Field. (Nevermind that I was there for a Rockies game before they had their own place. I was really into baseball at the time.)

Everyone has a different reason for liking the team(s) that they do, and for me I feel like I was just born that way, regardless of the quarterback.

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The Tax Questions I Want

During this tax season, I’ve seen commercials telling us how easy it is to file your taxes, simply by answering questions.  Well, those questions might be simple enough, but they could be better.  Such as:

-Did your cat population triple in 2013 because you’re a sucker for strays?

-Do you often wonder just where the hell your whole paycheck went?

-Did you spend more than $200 in Girl Scout cookies and useless crap from your kids’ fundraisers in 2013?

-Did you purchase a new computer, only to wish you didn’t have Windows 8?

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Adorable Jumping Spiders!

My apologies to anyone who doesn’t like spiders, but this was just too adorable not to share!  Of course, they make me think of Simon. 🙂

http://www.boredpanda.com/jumping-spiders-macro-photography-thomas-shahan/

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Bathroom Yoga

So I think we all know that we are “supposed” to be healthy.  And I’m sure, at least to some degree, that we all want to be.  But that’s pretty hard to accomplish with a sit-on-your-butt all day desk job.  It’s not so bad on really hot days, or nasty cold days that make you grateful you aren’t a delivery driver.  But as your butt goes numb, your knees start to cramp, your ankles swell and all those snacks you’ve consumed out of sheer boredom start to pop the seams out of your pants, you wonder just how great a job like this can be.

There’s only one solution.  Bathroom Yoga.  And it’s exactly what it sounds like.   Think about it:  intermittent exercise throughout the day keeps your mood uplifted and your blood flowing.  Some larger corporations have even installed gyms for employee use right in their buildings.  Of course, you can only use these before or after work, or on your lunch break.  And if you aren’t one of the lucky souls that can watch your coworkers sweat to the oldies in between reports, you have to find another alternative.  This is where Bathroom Yoga comes in.

Here’s how it works:  When you take a break, or you just feel like your blood has turned to sludge, spend a little extra time in the bathroom.  There are lots of exercises you can do inconspicuously in either a single bathroom or a bathroom stall, that take very little time but help get your blood pumping.  These aren’t all necessarily yoga poses; some are just plain calisthenics or stretches.  What makes Bathroom Yoga ideal is that it doesn’t require any exercise equipment, nor much time or space.

Today in the first installment of Bathroom Yoga, we take a look at the wall pushup.  Simply place your hands on the wall (make sure it’s sturdy if it’s a stall partition, cause, you know, that could be embarrassing) about shoulder width apart.  Stand with your feet together, about three feet away from the wall.  Then…well…do a pushup!  Just lean your body in toward the wall, and then push back upright with your arms.  Not only does the wall pushup provide an easy way to ditch Desk Chair Syndrome, it’s beats the hell out of doing regular pushups on the floor!  For more information about wall pushups, check out this article.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Bathroom Yoga!

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Disclaimer:  The Uptight Hippie and it’s author(s) do not in any way endorse you to do engage in any activity that could jeopardize your job or even get an evil glare from your boss.  We also advise you to consult with a physician before beginning any exercise regimen (even if it’s taking place in the bathroom).  The Bathroom Yoga series is intended solely for the purpose of entertainment.

photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

 

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Why I Love Miley Cyrus (or maybe I’m just jealous…)

When my oldest daughter was little, we watched a lot of Hannah Montana.  A lot.  And at that time I never would have imagined that the sweet little country girl I was watching on TV would “grow up” to become such a child-star-gone-wrong icon.

It doesn’t matter if it’s the VMA’s or New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, everyone is tuning in to see what crazy stunt Miley will be pulling off next.  And she doesn’t even do it in a semi-art fashion like Lady Gaga does, she just throws it out there like everyone has dancing teddy bears and dirty foam fingers laying around in their living room, and isn’t that how everyone uses them?  I recently saw an article on Yahoo that detailed the outrage over Miley dying her eyebrows.  Really?  We don’t have better things to do with our time than worry about the color of someone’s eyebrows?

So, yeah, I spent a little time feeling ranty about her turning into this, this monster of stardom that she has become.  Then something magical happened.  I was in my car, driving back to the office from a lunch break when “We Can’t Stop” came on the radio.  I almost changed the station.  I’ve heard the song plenty of times before, and even though I simply can’t stand the lifestyle she is advocating, it’s a catchy song.  So I left it on that station, and realized that Miley Cyrus (or whoever it is that tells her what to do) is a freaking genius.

Go ahead and reread that if you want to make sure that’s right, cause I promise you that it is.

Here’s the thing:  The majority of people, when they officially become “adults” (a term to be used loosely until they are at least pushing thirty) go a little apeshit.  They drink too much, party too hard, and do really stupid things.  They might be at a pivotal point in their lives (going to college, perhaps?), and yet they carry on with a blatant disregard for what someone might think of them.  That, right there, is what Miley is doing, except the kicker is that she gets paid for it. 

Let that sink in for a moment.  She gets to act like an idiot, do stupid stuff that will make various countdowns for years to come, and she is raking in a fortune.

Genius, folks.  Simple genius.

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The Last Good Guy on Earth: The Extinction of a Great Species

According to several people I know (and no small amount of Facebook statuses), there are no good men left.  Not a single one.  I find this interesting, because I have a good guy.  So does that mean I got the very last one?  I cleaned out the proverbial Man Store?  Fished the last fish out of the sea?  I find that pretty hard to believe, but if social media says so than who am I to say otherwise?

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Photo courtesy of artur84, freedigitalphotos.net

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