Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

For The Singles on Valentine’s Day

Well, it’s Valentine’s Day, time for all the single people to fill up Facebook with complaints about how single they are, how unfair it is, and when will it be their turn anyway??  If this sounds like something you just typed up in your status box, then I’m talking to you.

I understand how you feel.  It’s difficult to be solo on a daily basis anyway, and a holiday that specifically points it out is that much harder to deal with.  The lady at the cubicle next to you just got a big vase of red roses.  That guy you know from the gym has been bragging about the amazing date he has planned for his girlfriend.  Heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are literally everywhere, and instead of saying “Russell Stover” or “Whitman’s” on the front, they might as well say “Nanny nanny boo boo.”

But do you really think it’s going to help to whine about it?  Do you think that Mr. or Mrs. Right is going to see that sad-sack status and say, “Hey!  That’s who I’ve been looking for!”?

Yes, I am in a steady and wonderful relationship, but that is not why I’m talking to you right now.  I’m writing this because I have had PLENTY of Valentine’s Days/birthdays/Christmases/Saturday nights that I spent very much single.  There were PLENTY of times that it made me feel sad, or even made me think that I would just grow old and be a crazy cat lady for the rest of my life.  I have had some extremely lonely times in my life.

I’m writing to tell you to take this Valentine’s Day to love yourself.

Buy yourself that heart-shaped box of chocolates.  Take yourself out on a date.  Buy a bouquet of flowers to decorate your dining table.  Do what I used to do, and buy yourself a new book on a special day.  Heck, do all these things even if you’re in a relationship!  You’re worth it!

Don’t spend a random weekend in February moping and pining, and thinking that the negativity you’re pulsing out into the universe will boomerang back to you with an attractive date in tow.  Show yourself a little love.  I don’t care how cliché you think it sounds, it’s true:  You make your own happiness.



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Filed under Relationships

The Perils of Online Dating…You Just Might Fall in Love!

“This is gonna suck,” I told my sister on the phone as I sped down the highway toward the next town.  “There’s no way I’m going to like him, and it’s going to be a waste of my time.”  I was truly convinced that I was hurtling towards disaster on the way to this date.  This date with a man I had never met and never even spoken to on the phone.  I “met” him on Match.com, and we had emailed back and forth for almost a month before we finally decided to meet in person.  He seemed nice enough, but surely that was just his online persona.


When I pulled into the restaurant, my phone jingled at me.  I picked it up to see his name emblazoned across the LED screen, and my stomach scrunched into itself.  Oh, crap, this is the part where I find out he has a terrible voice.  (I can’t help it, a guy’s gotta have a good voice.)  “Hello?”

“Hey, Ashley,” came a pleasant rumble.  “I was just wondering what your time frame was on being here.”

Wow.  Okay, score one point for Internet Boy.

We were meeting for lunch, so I figured we’d spend an hour or so together, and I would escape to my sister’s to blather about how there were no good men left in the world.  An hour was plenty of time for a crappy date.  We ordered our drinks, and drank them.  We ordered our salads, and ate them.  We ordered our entrees, and ate them.  We ordered more drinks, drank them, fiddled with the napkin rings and our straws as we talked and talked and talked.  Somewhere between three and four hours later, we finally left the restaurant.

So here I am, two and a half years later, and still with him.  If anybody needs a success story for online dating, we are a great example!  I realize there’s still a lot of stigma against online dating.  There’s the idea that the only people out there in Internet Land looking for dates are blobby geeks that live in their mother’s basements.  I’m quite sure there are a few of those, and a few other crazies as well, but the ratio’s the same as what you would find in any other dating scene.

As a single mother who really didn’t like going out much, I turned to online dating after my divorce.  At first, it was really just pure fun.  I didn’t meet up with anyone, I just emailed back and forth a lot and got back into the swing of talking to the opposite sex again.  Now, I love to tell people that I met the love of my life online, if for no other reason than to see the look of shock on their faces.


photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net, by Salvatore Vuono


Filed under Family

The Last Good Guy on Earth: The Extinction of a Great Species

According to several people I know (and no small amount of Facebook statuses), there are no good men left.  Not a single one.  I find this interesting, because I have a good guy.  So does that mean I got the very last one?  I cleaned out the proverbial Man Store?  Fished the last fish out of the sea?  I find that pretty hard to believe, but if social media says so than who am I to say otherwise?


Photo courtesy of artur84, freedigitalphotos.net


Filed under Holidays, Relationships