Insecure About Your Writing? I Don’t Doubt It.

I always like making new writing and blogging friends.  In a recent conversation with a new acquaintance, he asked me if you ever get over the “debilitating self-doubt” that comes with writing.

Nope.

I knew that was the answer, but I discovered just how true that was as I prepared to launch my latest book.

Although I’m an indie author, most of my writing happens on the freelance scene.  I have consistent work creating blogs and ghostwriting, and this means that I usually spend a lot more time doing the projects that make me a little cash than the ones that are simply for my own creative pleasure.  I do have quite a few stories waiting to be written, though, so I took the day off from my “regular” work to get my book finished up and ready for release.

By the time I release a book on the world, I’m absolutely sick of it.  I have read this current book so many times that I just can’t stand it any more, and that’s how I know I’m done.  There is nothing more that I can do to change it or make it better.  It is as complete as a book can be.

Even though I knew the book was done, that knowledge didn’t stop a shocking amount of fear and anxiety from creeping up on me as I created a Facebook event and sketched out my marketing ideas.  I thought at first that I was just frustrated; it’s difficult to know what the “right” thing is to do when it comes to promoting your work.  I had a couple of close friends that attempted to help me, but they just couldn’t.  I was an absolute mess.

Eventually, I calmed down and got over it.  I got past the mental block that my anxiety had caused and was able to think creatively again.  I’m good now.

But I want everyone out there who doubts their skill as a writer to understand that you aren’t alone.  Writing is a job that not only takes a lot of hard work but also a lot of bravery.  It’s impossible to write without putting a little bit of yourself into that book, and you’re opening it up for everyone to see it.

It’s tough, but you can do it.

 

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Filed under Book Reviews, Books, On Writing

Come Join My Book Release Party!

t’s been almost two years since I released The Wanderer’s Guide to Dragon Keeping, and it’s finally time for the sequel!  Come join my release party for giveaways, the cover reveal,  and other fun!  The best part is that you can do it all in the comfort of your home.

Fun dragon

 

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Filed under Book Reviews, Books, On Writing, Uncategorized

The Sunday Evening Blues

Ah, Sunday evening: a time when most folks suddenly begin to dread Monday morning. They think about the white-knuckle drive to the office, the cringe-worthy coworkers, and the stack of work in their inbox a mile high.

I don’t feel that way.

As I was sitting here on the living room couch, reading a battered Lillian Jackson Braun novel from the local library, I began to think about the beginning of my week. There are a few things I dread, but none of them have anything to do with work. I’m excited to sit down with my planner on a Monday morning and figure out what freelance assignments I have due during the coming week. I’m thrilled to see how much time I might be able to carve out for my own writing, and I’m equally thrilled to find out that it won’t be much. I know that during the week I’ll be crossing off projects and emailing clients about new ones. I have to force myself not to work on the weekends, but by Sunday evening my fingers begin itching to type.

I’ve been writing professionally on the side for about five years and writing full time for about six months. Sure, I guess I could still be excited about it because it’s new. I could easily wake up one morning and wonder how I can possibly enjoy this lifestyle where my income is never guaranteed and I often don’t leave the house for several days in a row.

I’m not writing this to brag about how awesome my job is, but simply to say how grateful I am that I don’t have to dread the first of the week.

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What about you? Do you have a case of the Sunday evening blues? Or are you excited about Monday morning?

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Filed under On Writing, Work-at-Home Mom

Barnes & Noble’s Big Mistake…Or Is It?

I’ve read far more articles than I would like to admit about ebooks vs. print books, online stores vs. brick and mortar stores, etc.  There are interesting facts and opinions all over the place, some of them reasonable and some just ridiculous.  Many people want to blame online stores like Amazon for the downfall of brick and mortars, an idea that has been punched right in the eye by the opening of Amazon’s physical store.  But it turns out that retailers might just be shooting themselves in the foot.

Over the weekend, my husband and I were at our local Barnes & Noble.  He was there for some coffee, I was there to sniff books.  The kids were gone for the weekend, so we got to spend our time looking at overpriced Doctor Who merchandise and bargain books that we will never read instead of lounging around the children’s section.

My husband decided to look for a particular cookbook he’s interested in.  (I’m incredibly lucky to have a husband who cooks, and who does it well.  He puts anything I make to shame.  He doesn’t even need a cookbook 99% of the time, but he likes to look at them for ideas.  Anyway.)  While he didn’t find the one he wanted, he found another that he liked.  It was $45 (yikes!), so he checked the price online.

I have to say here that we are big online shoppers.  Thanks to Amazon Prime, our UPS man is probably wondering if we ever leave the house. (I try my best not to.)  We buy locally whenever we can, but when the online savings are more than a couple dollars it’s hard to justify.  We work hard for our money, and we want to get the most out of it.

Okay, back to Barnes & Noble.  So the hubby finds the cookbook online and shows me the price:  $27.  That’s a pretty big difference.  And it was on Barnes & Noble’s own website.  Hmm, okay.  Well, maybe they’ll price match it?

NO.

This means that B&N is in a weird game of competition with itself.  If your own website is underselling you, what does that mean?

I could speculate about store closings, the cost of selling in person vs. selling online, or whether the bookseller is run by sock gnomes who think it’s funny to play tricks on people.  I started to read some articles, but then I spilled my coffee.  Priorities.

What are your thoughts?  Is this some awesome marketing strategy that I simply don’t see?  Do you think B&N just doesn’t have their stuff together since their site relaunch?  Or that their employees are germophobes who don’t want to have to deal with real people?  Should they start a price matching program, or do they want to reward us for shopping in our underwear?  Feel free to leave your sock gnome conspiracy theories in the comments below!

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Looking Back

The other day as my husband and I were out shopping, I ran into one of my first college professors. It’s been a long time, and I didn’t even recognize her at first. In fact, I was so flabbergasted when she stopped me and asked how I was that I wasn’t even sure how to respond.

It shouldn’t really feel like meeting a celebrity when you run into someone you already know, should it? But it really did. I was taking her classes at a time in my life when I felt ready to conquer the world. Sure, not everything was perfect, but going to a college where I knew absolutely no one was the beginning of a new era for me. I had nothing but respect and even a little awe for this woman.

Would you like to know what the best part was? (Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.) She seemed so genuinely happy for me when I told her I’m writing full time. I hear you, you’re saying that really isn’t that remarkable. But this wasn’t just your typical, “Oh, that’s great. Good for you.” This was more of a hand to her heart, wide eyes, “Oh, that’s wonderful.” Like she really knew what this meant for me. I didn’t even realize that she had understood me that well all those years ago. I was a biology major, after all. I never sat down and discussed my hopes and goals for the future with her, and at that time writing wasn’t really one of them. I had chalked it up as a pipe dream. But somehow, all these years later, she instantly knew that this was big for me.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when you’ve really been able to reach out and touch the stars. Meeting one goal often just leads to an entirely new goal. It’s good to keep going, to not be complacent, and I know that I still have so many more things I can do. But it’s also really great to look back at all the stars beneath you and to remember the people who helped you get there.

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Filed under On Writing, Relationships

Barf Duty: Should My Kids Stay Home Today?

I think one of the hardest decisions I have to make as a parent of school-age children is whether they are sick enough to stay home from school or not. It doesn’t sound that difficult, I know, but if you’ve been there then you know what I mean.

First of all, I swear at least one of my children has a complaint every single morning. They are either too tired, or they’ve coughed once, or they imagine they have a stomachache because they’re hungry. If I let them stay home every time they said they didn’t feel good, they’d be home all year long.

Now, if I do decide to let them stay home, inevitably they feel absolutely fine just a couple hours later. Fine enough that they are hanging on me, begging for snacks or another round of Go Fish even though I’ve explained that I need to work. Fine enough that I ought to take them to school, but I never do. Fine enough that I think I made the wrong decision.

Of course, then there are the mornings when I have leaned the other direction and sent them to school anyway, only to get a call from the nurse a couple hours later to come pick up my puking and/or feverish child.

There’s no way to win.

And that’s why I told my youngest that she was going to school Tuesday morning. She had already stayed home on Monday with a bellyache, and of course she spent most of the day playing, singing, running in the house after I told her not to, and in general enjoying herself far too much for a sick day.  No vomiting, no fever.

So when she complained of a bellyache Tuesday morning, I didn’t worry about it. I mean, she was fine, right? She got up and ate her weight in Cap’n Crunch, as usual, and seemed alright. Our normal morning routine is to spend any extra time before the bus comes cuddling on the couch and watching TV, and when we sat down she complained of her stomach hurting. Again, I assured her she was fine.

And then Cap’n Crunch exploded all over my living room. Seriously, if you haven’t ever seen a lake of well-used crunchberries spreading all over your living room floor, then I don’t advise it. It came pretty close to beating the Double Projectile Vomiting of Cocoa Puffs Incident of 2010. (They both stayed home that day.)

Of course this was two minutes before it was time to go outside for the bus, so I was racing back and forth between mopping up puke and making sure my other daughter was at the bus on time.

So what was the universe trying to teach me here? That I should just let my kids stay home any time they’re under the weather? That there’s a reason I don’t eat kid cereal? (Cause really, I don’t even want to smell that stuff anymore.) Or maybe just that it’s impossible to always make the right decisions as a parent.

All I can do is scoop up the barf and move on.

sick day

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Let’s Pretend I Got a Movie Deal

The movie is never as good as The Book.  The Book is special and must be treated as such.  The evil movie producers should never stray from anything as small as a line of dialogue in The Book.  They shall scour the Earth to find the one person who looks EXACTLY as the author described the main character, or else we The Readers shall rebel.

Really, we get so upset over these things, myself included.

I was on this nice little fantastical train of thought the other day where The Wanderer’s Guide to Dragon Keeping was being made into a movie.  Of course, I would be highly involved in the production process and the movie would be wildly successful.  (Hey, I said it was a fantasy, right?)

Anyway, I started to think:  If these really talented Hollywood types who are experts at telling a visual story make recommendations and changes to the original story, would I be so selfish with my book as to not let it happen?  Would I tell them, “Oh, hell no.  My readers expect that wooden box to be square, not rectangular.  I don’t care what your props department thinks; have them carve another one.”

No.

I just started watching the Outlander series on Starz.  I have read and absolutely adored the books.  Even though it’s been several years since I read the first book, I can already tell that the series is not an exact reflection of the book.  But I do know that Diana Gabaldon was highly involved, and she has said on her own Facebook page that “the book is the book, and the show is the show.”  She understands that some changes have to be made to convert the story into one that can be told visually.  And the thing is, it’s still a good story.  Yes, I am usually a staunch supporter of The Book.  But I’m beginning to realize that just because it’s a little bit different in film format doesn’t mean that it’s wrong or bad.

You can all feel free to remind me of this when I do get a movie deal, and I’m yelling at the actors. 🙂

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Filed under Books, On Writing

A Salute to the Failed Blog Posts

I can’t even begin to tell you how many ideas I have for blog posts that never make it onto this page.  And the rough drafts are endless.  There’s no telling if even this will earn the honored status of “Posted.”

I’ve started to write reviews of movies that I’ve seen, but then I forget about them and they become irrelevant.  Or I feel as though I’m not doing a good job of reviewing a book because I don’t feel like picking apart every literary element of it.  Sometimes, I just like a book.  It really can be that simple.

Sometimes, I have really great ideas.  Epiphanies, even.  These undoubtedly occur while I’m in the shower, or driving, or cleaning dog poop out of the yard, or any other situation where I just can’t drop what I’m doing and write it down.  Or I make the mistake of thinking I’ll remember it.  You’d think I would learn from that mistake, but I haven’t yet.

Perhaps the worse attempts are when I think I have a good idea, but it all just melts into sophomoric mush when it hits the screen.  A topic that sounds truly amazing, like it could really be something special, comes out wooden and dull.  Bluh.

So here’s to the failed blog posts.  Here’s to the bad ideas, the good ideas gone wrong, the half-ass reviews, the drafts that just never get finished, and the ideas that simply get forgotten.  Because without them, the good posts wouldn’t be nearly so good.

 

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The Meaning of Life

Life as a parent can be tough. There are many nights when you don’t get enough sleep. There are too many mornings when they just won’t get ready for school. There are numerous afternoons when you don’t think you’ll ever get through their homework and their sibling rivalries.

A friend asked me recently if I could imagine what my life would be like if I didn’t have kids. I could have dreamed of days spent lying on the couch with a book in my hand and never having to get up to help someone go potty or put toothpaste on their toothbrush. I might have thought of the numerous vacations I could have gone on since I wasn’t spending all my money on clothes, diapers, toys, and school fundraisers. I might have imagined a world where I could sleep all night if I wanted to, or stay up all night if I wanted to, and the only person that would have to deal with it would be me.

Instead, I found myself in a world where there were no little people to hug me and tell me I’m the best mommy in the whole wide world. There were no drawings on the fridge and no juice boxes inside it. There was nobody’s room to sneak in at night before I go to bed just to watch them sleep and know they were okay. It was a sad world full of loneliness, and I had no purpose in it.

Yes, life as a parent can be tough. But I couldn’t ever give it back.

The girls and I having a pink pajama pants party.

The girls and I having a pink pajama pants party.

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Two Droplets

This is a story too scary not to share!

Source: Two Droplets

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