December 16, 2013 · 4:47 pm

Peace on Earth…or at Least in my Living Room

It’s evenings like this that it’s really hard for me to stop writing and go to bed.  My office is no more than a section carved out of the living room with my ginormous desk and uber comfy leather chair, but to be honest the laptop and I often park on the couch.  The living room is distracting, though.  The TV is there, and is usually on.  The boyfriend is there, watching the TV.  Before their reasonable bedtimes the kiddos are climbing all over me (but the laptop is afraid and stays on the desk).  In short, it’s impossible to get anything done.

But tonight?  The fireplace is crackling away and the TV is off.  I’m the only one in here.  Other than the cats, who are thoroughly exploring the Christmas tree that was just put up yesterday.  I haven’t pulled out the rest of my décor yet, but even so it is nothing short of a Christmas card picture.  One of the good ones, not those cheap ugly ones.

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Nermal thoroughly getting into the Christmas spirit.

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December 9, 2013 · 8:20 pm

Exaggerations of Christmas Past

It seems that each Christmas is known for something different. There was the year the presents completely filled the room at my grandma’s house, the year I made every single gift by hand, the year my sister accidentally beaned Mom with the tree pruners. I thought for a moment my kids might remember this holiday as The Year the Christmas Tree Almost Killed Mom.
I lived for a couple years with just my girls. There wasn’t a man around, and I did plenty of I’m-an-independent-woman-and-I-can-do-it-all-myself stuff. I got the Christmas tree in and out of the attic, ripped up and replaced the bathroom floor, and took care of the lawn. I moved furniture and fixed the sink. Some of the things I did were challenging and satisfying. Other things might have been a little stupid.
I guess there is a little bit of that independence still in me, even though I do have a man around the house to open jars and kill spiders. I decided this evening it was time to get the Christmas tree down, and since my boyfriend was asleep, it was a job for one. What you should know about our attic is that the entryway is above the basement stairs. This means that when you are climbing the ladder into the attic, you have nothing but a downward staircase underneath you should you fall. Considering how much I hate ladders, this is nothing short of terrifying.
Getting up into the attic was not so much the challenge as coming back out of it. With the gargantuan Christmas tree box poised above me, I slowly descended the ladder, while visions of injury and concussions danced in my head. I imagined that, as the weight of the tree box hit the ladder, the whole contraption would break. The box would snap my head back as it fell, and I would crumple to the Stairway of Doom below me. My children, hearing the crash, would rush in to find the bloody carcass of their mother on the concrete floor of the basement.
Isn’t that delightful? A beautiful holiday fantasy? Fortunately, the reality is that I got the tree down just fine. I’m sitting right across the room from it, all in one piece.
Now I just have to hope the cats leave the tree in one piece.

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photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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December 2, 2013 · 5:55 pm

“I just need you.”

My attention was split between my laptop and a late night cable showing of Ghostbusters 2 when I heard the squeak of the door. At first I thought it was the cats, because they like to play around the bathroom door, but a few short seconds later I could see the figure of Violet stumbling toward me in the dimness.
“What’s the matter, baby?”
She said nothing, with her bleary not-really-awake eyes and a good size frown on her face. She just kept walking towards me.
“What do you need? What’s wrong?”
“I just need you.”
She piled herself on my lap, curling up and burying her face in my neck. She said she hadn’t had any nightmares, she was feeling okay, nothing was wrong.
“I just need you.”
My work was calling to me (I can’t ever seem to get caught up) but the weight of this child on my lap was calling me more. My mind drifted to beautiful spring days seven years ago, when a newborn baby girl and I would snuggle up on the couch. She would lay on my legs and we would play and watch TV. Sometimes she would fall asleep and I would read a book with the weight of the sleeping baby on my legs, warm and soft and perfect.
That was my paradise, in days when everything was happy and wonderful. The random and necessary course of life took a lot of that paradise away from me, but I got a little bit of it back tonight.

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November 28, 2013 · 11:05 am

Small Things to be Thankful For

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I am so thankful that my daughter loves me enough to write me this letter, and have it waiting for me when I got home last night.
I am thankful that I could give her a hug and tell her I wouldn’t be working on Thanksgiving.

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November 25, 2013 · 5:22 pm

4 a.m.

The last few hours
of the night
press close
making sure
the nightwork is done.
The spinning
of every web,
the shining
of every star,
one last haunt
for every spirit.

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November 18, 2013 · 12:46 pm

The Real Cereal Killer

Time is such a precious commodity these days. And it’s no wonder considering all that society expects us to do. We must work outside the home, raise a family, and take care of the house and car. Be sure to enroll your kids in lots of extracurricular activities so you feel like you are actually a good parent. Keep up with all social media, popular TV shows, and world events.  Eat right and exercise!

Sure, we’d like to keep up with it all. But everything is so complicated these days. To give you an example, just think about everything involved in a box of cereal:

Step 1: Purchase the cereal. It doesn’t sound complicated, unless you have a coupon.
Step 2: Clip the Box Top.
Step 3: Clip the Bonus Box Tops.
Step 4: Notice that there is an offer for a free book, so go to the cereal manufacturer’s website.
Step 5: Set up an account on the cereal manufacturer’s website.
Step 6: Enter codes.
Step 7: Try to figure out why the codes aren’t accepted.
Step 8: Listen to your kids argue over which book to get.
Step 9: Start accumulating cereal boxes in the corner of your kitchen, because you would really like to order the free books again but just really can’t find the time.

Somewhere in the midst of all that, you’re supposed to eat the cereal, too. But who has time for that?

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November 11, 2013 · 12:44 pm

My Veteran

I know several veterans, but the one that I’m thinking about most today is my grandpa.  Grandpa spent his life with the Air Force, so growing up I heard lots of stories about the places that they traveled to and the things that happened there.

My favorite story is this:  Grandpa was in the mess hall overseas when the bombing started.  All around him, soldiers abandoned their food and dove under the table.  Grandpa calmly told his fellows that they might as well get up and enjoy their meal.

This little tidbit might not seem like much, but it explains my grandpa in a nutshell.  I never saw him get mad or agitated.  He was always calm and quiet.  After a battle with Parkinson’s, he passed away last fall.  I think about him a lot, but I’d like to dedicate my Veteran’s Day to him.

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This picture was taken just before he presented my grandma with the flag.

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November 4, 2013 · 2:26 pm

November Tidings

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Happy November!

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October 28, 2013 · 9:08 pm

The Lion, the Witch, and the Very Short Wardrobe

It’s that time of year again, and I am so excited! Hoodies, s’mores, bonfires, beautiful leaves, and turning on the electric blanket at night. (Oh, wait, I do that almost all year anyway.) Halloween is swiftly approaching, and it has always been one of my favorite holidays. Originally I’m sure this was because it is so close to my birthday, but as an adult I love it without the birthday strings attached.
I might be “all grown up”, but I still like to dress up for Halloween. In recent years I have been a black cat, a gangster, and a maiden. I spent a decent amount of time last week pilfering the Halloween stores for The Perfect Costume. I don’t want to be just whatever random garb I can grab off the shelf. I want to be something that means something to me. Something that I am all about. Something that would make people say, “That is so Ashley.” But most of all? I want something that doesn’t show my ass.
It doesn’t sound like a lot to ask, I know. But have you looked at the “women’s” costumes over the last few years? If you haven’t, go look. I’ll wait.
See? The vast majority of these costumes are of the naughty nurse or vixen pirate types. Even worse is that they are taking characters from Disney and Sesame Street and trying to make them sexy. You want to be a princess this year? Sure, but you gotta squeeze into a mini skirt first. Even costumes that are in little girls’ sizes are far too revealing.
I escaped the Halloween store last Wednesday night with tears in my eyes (because a 30-year-old that’s had two kids does not a bimbo Batgirl make) and ideas churning in my head. It was time to take matters, and hot glue, into my own hands and make a costume. But what? After much debate I finally decided. The one material thing I truly love. The one outfit that nobody else is going to have for Halloween. The Perfect Costume.
If you are prowling around the Southern Illinois area on Thursday and you happen to see a woman with shredded book pages glued to her shirt, a witch hat, a lion nose, and a necklace made of doorknobs, don’t fret. It’s just me, dressed as one of my favorite books: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

 

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Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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October 21, 2013 · 8:43 pm

The Biggest issue

This week’s blog is going to spark debate.  It is going to incite many emotions, such as rage, fear, and disbelief.  It is more important than the government shutdown.  It is more critical than Obamacare or which NFL players have been injured (and believe me, I love football).

It is parenting.

There is no bigger issue than making sure our children grow up to be happy, healthy, functional parts of society.  Everyone has a different method for this madness of child-rearing, and there isn’t a single thing wrong with that.  But what I want to know is if you don’t care enough about your children to make sure they are warm and fed, then why do you have them?

And don’t give me that, “Oh, well we didn’t really mean to have children” crap.  There are plenty of “accidents” out there that are well cared for.

What started all of this was a field-trip for my second grader.  The week building up to the trip, I received at least three flyers from the teacher reminding parents to send a jacket and a sack lunch with their children, and make sure they wear tennis shoes.  It was an outdoor trip, so at least two of those requirements should be a given.  And yet parents needed constant reminders from the teacher to do their job.

I believe most of the kids had their jackets and proper foot attire, but there were at least a couple that had no lunch.  Okay, now let’s pause real quick and take the other side.  Surely the kid ran off for the bus and left their prepared-with-love sack lunch on the kitchen table right?  Or left it on the bus?  If that were true, then why was the teacher prepared with extra lunches for those who forgot theirs?  How many times does this happen?

I can honestly tell you I would have given up my lunch if one of those kids didn’t have anything to eat.  They might not have appreciated my almond butter and honey sandwich, but it’s better than nothing, right?

Society as a whole is relying on teachers to raise our children.  I think my daughter’s teacher is fabulous, but nobody can raise 25 children all by herself.

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