Category Archives: Family

The Perils of Online Dating…You Just Might Fall in Love!

“This is gonna suck,” I told my sister on the phone as I sped down the highway toward the next town.  “There’s no way I’m going to like him, and it’s going to be a waste of my time.”  I was truly convinced that I was hurtling towards disaster on the way to this date.  This date with a man I had never met and never even spoken to on the phone.  I “met” him on Match.com, and we had emailed back and forth for almost a month before we finally decided to meet in person.  He seemed nice enough, but surely that was just his online persona.

Right?

When I pulled into the restaurant, my phone jingled at me.  I picked it up to see his name emblazoned across the LED screen, and my stomach scrunched into itself.  Oh, crap, this is the part where I find out he has a terrible voice.  (I can’t help it, a guy’s gotta have a good voice.)  “Hello?”

“Hey, Ashley,” came a pleasant rumble.  “I was just wondering what your time frame was on being here.”

Wow.  Okay, score one point for Internet Boy.

We were meeting for lunch, so I figured we’d spend an hour or so together, and I would escape to my sister’s to blather about how there were no good men left in the world.  An hour was plenty of time for a crappy date.  We ordered our drinks, and drank them.  We ordered our salads, and ate them.  We ordered our entrees, and ate them.  We ordered more drinks, drank them, fiddled with the napkin rings and our straws as we talked and talked and talked.  Somewhere between three and four hours later, we finally left the restaurant.

So here I am, two and a half years later, and still with him.  If anybody needs a success story for online dating, we are a great example!  I realize there’s still a lot of stigma against online dating.  There’s the idea that the only people out there in Internet Land looking for dates are blobby geeks that live in their mother’s basements.  I’m quite sure there are a few of those, and a few other crazies as well, but the ratio’s the same as what you would find in any other dating scene.

As a single mother who really didn’t like going out much, I turned to online dating after my divorce.  At first, it was really just pure fun.  I didn’t meet up with anyone, I just emailed back and forth a lot and got back into the swing of talking to the opposite sex again.  Now, I love to tell people that I met the love of my life online, if for no other reason than to see the look of shock on their faces.

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photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net, by Salvatore Vuono

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Christmas is not a When

Dedicated to anyone who doesn’t get to spend Christmas with their loved ones on December 25th, but finds another time to be together and make an ordinary day into a holiday.

 

Today is Christmas for you

but it certainly wasn’t for me

I try to think of what it was

and all that it could be

All the things that it is now

and what it once was, then

a who, a how, a which, a why

but certainly not a when

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Peace on Earth…or at Least in my Living Room

It’s evenings like this that it’s really hard for me to stop writing and go to bed.  My office is no more than a section carved out of the living room with my ginormous desk and uber comfy leather chair, but to be honest the laptop and I often park on the couch.  The living room is distracting, though.  The TV is there, and is usually on.  The boyfriend is there, watching the TV.  Before their reasonable bedtimes the kiddos are climbing all over me (but the laptop is afraid and stays on the desk).  In short, it’s impossible to get anything done.

But tonight?  The fireplace is crackling away and the TV is off.  I’m the only one in here.  Other than the cats, who are thoroughly exploring the Christmas tree that was just put up yesterday.  I haven’t pulled out the rest of my décor yet, but even so it is nothing short of a Christmas card picture.  One of the good ones, not those cheap ugly ones.

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Nermal thoroughly getting into the Christmas spirit.

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Exaggerations of Christmas Past

It seems that each Christmas is known for something different. There was the year the presents completely filled the room at my grandma’s house, the year I made every single gift by hand, the year my sister accidentally beaned Mom with the tree pruners. I thought for a moment my kids might remember this holiday as The Year the Christmas Tree Almost Killed Mom.
I lived for a couple years with just my girls. There wasn’t a man around, and I did plenty of I’m-an-independent-woman-and-I-can-do-it-all-myself stuff. I got the Christmas tree in and out of the attic, ripped up and replaced the bathroom floor, and took care of the lawn. I moved furniture and fixed the sink. Some of the things I did were challenging and satisfying. Other things might have been a little stupid.
I guess there is a little bit of that independence still in me, even though I do have a man around the house to open jars and kill spiders. I decided this evening it was time to get the Christmas tree down, and since my boyfriend was asleep, it was a job for one. What you should know about our attic is that the entryway is above the basement stairs. This means that when you are climbing the ladder into the attic, you have nothing but a downward staircase underneath you should you fall. Considering how much I hate ladders, this is nothing short of terrifying.
Getting up into the attic was not so much the challenge as coming back out of it. With the gargantuan Christmas tree box poised above me, I slowly descended the ladder, while visions of injury and concussions danced in my head. I imagined that, as the weight of the tree box hit the ladder, the whole contraption would break. The box would snap my head back as it fell, and I would crumple to the Stairway of Doom below me. My children, hearing the crash, would rush in to find the bloody carcass of their mother on the concrete floor of the basement.
Isn’t that delightful? A beautiful holiday fantasy? Fortunately, the reality is that I got the tree down just fine. I’m sitting right across the room from it, all in one piece.
Now I just have to hope the cats leave the tree in one piece.

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photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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“I just need you.”

My attention was split between my laptop and a late night cable showing of Ghostbusters 2 when I heard the squeak of the door. At first I thought it was the cats, because they like to play around the bathroom door, but a few short seconds later I could see the figure of Violet stumbling toward me in the dimness.
“What’s the matter, baby?”
She said nothing, with her bleary not-really-awake eyes and a good size frown on her face. She just kept walking towards me.
“What do you need? What’s wrong?”
“I just need you.”
She piled herself on my lap, curling up and burying her face in my neck. She said she hadn’t had any nightmares, she was feeling okay, nothing was wrong.
“I just need you.”
My work was calling to me (I can’t ever seem to get caught up) but the weight of this child on my lap was calling me more. My mind drifted to beautiful spring days seven years ago, when a newborn baby girl and I would snuggle up on the couch. She would lay on my legs and we would play and watch TV. Sometimes she would fall asleep and I would read a book with the weight of the sleeping baby on my legs, warm and soft and perfect.
That was my paradise, in days when everything was happy and wonderful. The random and necessary course of life took a lot of that paradise away from me, but I got a little bit of it back tonight.

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The Real Cereal Killer

Time is such a precious commodity these days. And it’s no wonder considering all that society expects us to do. We must work outside the home, raise a family, and take care of the house and car. Be sure to enroll your kids in lots of extracurricular activities so you feel like you are actually a good parent. Keep up with all social media, popular TV shows, and world events.  Eat right and exercise!

Sure, we’d like to keep up with it all. But everything is so complicated these days. To give you an example, just think about everything involved in a box of cereal:

Step 1: Purchase the cereal. It doesn’t sound complicated, unless you have a coupon.
Step 2: Clip the Box Top.
Step 3: Clip the Bonus Box Tops.
Step 4: Notice that there is an offer for a free book, so go to the cereal manufacturer’s website.
Step 5: Set up an account on the cereal manufacturer’s website.
Step 6: Enter codes.
Step 7: Try to figure out why the codes aren’t accepted.
Step 8: Listen to your kids argue over which book to get.
Step 9: Start accumulating cereal boxes in the corner of your kitchen, because you would really like to order the free books again but just really can’t find the time.

Somewhere in the midst of all that, you’re supposed to eat the cereal, too. But who has time for that?

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My Veteran

I know several veterans, but the one that I’m thinking about most today is my grandpa.  Grandpa spent his life with the Air Force, so growing up I heard lots of stories about the places that they traveled to and the things that happened there.

My favorite story is this:  Grandpa was in the mess hall overseas when the bombing started.  All around him, soldiers abandoned their food and dove under the table.  Grandpa calmly told his fellows that they might as well get up and enjoy their meal.

This little tidbit might not seem like much, but it explains my grandpa in a nutshell.  I never saw him get mad or agitated.  He was always calm and quiet.  After a battle with Parkinson’s, he passed away last fall.  I think about him a lot, but I’d like to dedicate my Veteran’s Day to him.

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This picture was taken just before he presented my grandma with the flag.

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